I am having an existential moment.  I now like playing foosball more than reading a book, even if it is on an e-Reader–the coolest thing ever.  Its is in our basement–because when my husband determinedly refused to return the purchase–I made him compromise–either in the garage or in the basement.  My first reaction goes back to the days of sitting in dorm, when I wasn’t supposed to be, and was among the pool table, the TV, the Foosball, and the pinball machine. At the right time, all four machines would be on, and anyone would have to wait for a turn.

It was during these times that the most “epic” conversations would take place.  “Epic” is the term because we would venture to use words and ideas that we were in fact just beginning to study in our classes.  We would discuss, as in the salons of Paris, France, as if we were the Professional Wordsmiths and Ideologues that drove the invisible machine of thought and taste and popularity.  We would bet each other, upping the ante, to try to find the proof of our ideas and our favorite things.  If everything turned out true, and truly, we would have enough riches from the day to get a free pizza and a pop from the others.

Once, someone brought in the movie starring Robin Williams.  And, when we convinced the Lords of the TV to let us use it… even if they weren’t invited to watch, we immediately began the two-hour marathon, titled, “Dead Poets Society.”  There were few of us who had not yet seen it, and for the other couple of us who had seen it, it was considered “gold enough” to re-view.  The beauty of the movie is its very unconventional approach to being young and immortal.  No Professor of any type is ever sexy… And, for Williams’ students to fall in love with their Professor, is very unheard of.  This is not a Woody Allen movie where the nerdy, intelligent, and anxious intellectual courts his students and many other younger ladies.  This is a boy’s film… a man’s film, if you will.  The boys at the boarding school where Professor Williams  teaches, is ripe for intense drama and the bravery that leads to the bravery facing death.  It is, like the Classic Plays of William Shakespeare, a great tragedy.  The students may as well bathe in the blood of their brothers, as we all know, that secret societies are like this.

So, as the viewing ended, we sat quietly, now a late hour, and those of us who did not live in dorm, were, in fact broaching the rules.  But, we sat there, contented with the movie, and with the quiet all around us, we began to wonder…  “Was that ending necessary?”  Like all tragedies.. something always feels unjustified, after great effort, and great expenditure, should there not be a life worth living come from it?  Why does the victor die?  And, why, is it that we know, even after the death, that nothing truly is changed… Another hero will come, and this hero, too, will die, unjustified.  There is no life, in these Classical Plays that is worth living.  All lives are lost, and sacrificed, and given up.  And, of course, the secret is kept…  How many will go to hell…  and, How many will go to heaven?

Even recently, that I have caught, movies like “Gladiator,” and “Troy,” and “Armageddon” all have that classic hero myth that makes the hero a dead guy.  And yet, we love them!  So, thank you to the foosball table, which allowed me to hang around the room in dorm.  I made friends who shared their wealth of knowledge and talent with me.  I would never go to the movies by myself, but I wouldn’t mind mooching a couple of hours from others.  To even the score between the moochers and the givers, we could play a game of foosball and yell out our frustrations… making a night in the dorm room more fun and cheaper than going to the student lounge or one of the bars just off campus.

Now, being quite an expert Foosball player, I do challenge my son AND daughter, to the games.  But, I excuse myself…  I am trying to justify my husband’s crazy purchase!