The tall tree stands by the stand of the tall buildings.  It is a break in the street, apparent against the sky.  When the sun is shining, reflections of light create glare off glass and metal.  I am happy in this warm weather and think of the man I want to marry.  Everything seems perfect, and I hope everything is true.

Where can I get to where I want to go?

Remembering those early days when everything was just as hopeful as everything was just as hopeless.  We are married now, and those days still stay with me.  The freedom is in the marriage–the promise of the hope I had, and therefore the promise of happily ever after.

When struggling through the day, when work is working like a dog, and I am mindlessly keeping up, and I think of all the undone work I have to do once I leave the office, I truly do struggle.  I usually just take a deep breath, and literally, with stoic face and demeanor, soldier on into the evening until I can finally fall, exhausted, into sleep for seven hours.

Life is long, and sometimes, because there are so many things happening all the time, it can accommodate a full range of responses and results.  I am, by nature moved by these things, again and again.  I am beginning to find that knowing less when I was younger, truly was a blessing.  Now, when I look at these scenes, and these places, I find that mostly, I was wrong in assuming the way things were, was in fact the natural order of things.  I am jaded now.  Things will never again be as good and as perfect as when we were all at the beginning.

I am glad  that I was young when I fell in love with my husband and I am glad that me married young.  We have had many years filled with happiness.  We are still together and comfortable.  Now, even raising children and parenting them, is easy in this family.

The scene of buildings and trees is a common enough sight in this city.  When I see that moment, that moment, when everything was just as hopeless as well as just as hopeful, I am back to that first day, when I was hoping I was in true love.  With age, the judgement of good and evil, and middling, is much easier to make, and I find I am much more satisfied with just doing the same things over.  I find that a cup of coffee in the morning is satisfying enough to take me to the next morning.  No more one more latte for the afternoon….  I am not going to over-satisfy myself.

The on-coming summer season, is just as exciting this year, as it  was last year.  I am trying to remember where all my summer clothes are…  hidden in the drawers of cabinets and chests, and armoirs in the rooms of this house.  There’s also the closet, for things that must hang.  I am a bit of a peacock and love to match the frilly, colorful things all together.  The warm weather reminds me that often we will be out late into the evening and sometimes, as a treat, at the cottage, we will sit  by the lake and light a fire in the fire pit there, into the deep night.

Everything is filled, and everything is filling.  Every morning is a treat and every night is an easy rest.  I live from one moment to the next, filled with surprise form one surprise to the next.